


it was so easy (and the words so sweet)

by thedarknesswithin (babylxxrry)



Series: all that glitters is not gold [5]
Category: Pentatonix, Superfruit
Genre: Angst, M/M, The fluff is coming I promise, literally idek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-14
Updated: 2017-03-14
Packaged: 2018-10-04 20:58:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10289639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/babylxxrry/pseuds/thedarknesswithin
Summary: mitch tries his best, because that's all he can do.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [xxCat1989xx](https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxCat1989xx/gifts).



> heyyyyyy i'm back it's time for i5 i don't like this one as much bc it's kind of messy in terms of where i'm going with it sorry uh more info about the general arc in the end notes so i guess enjoy???

Scott does keep his promise to call him later, and Mitch is mapping out his entire-house cleaning strategy when Misbehavin’ sounds again.

“Mitchy?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you have time to talk?”

“I do. Is Shawn okay?” The name is just a little bitter on Mitch’s tongue, but he ignores it in favor of listening to Scott.

“He’s fine, passed out now. Not sure what really happened but it’s something along the lines of  him and this other guy getting into an argument about something or other and the next thing we knew, the guy’s on the floor and there’s security grabbing Shawn and Candice is yelling for me. Sorry about leaving you hanging like that.”

“It’s okay,” Mitch says, because honestly, he’d probably forgive Scott if he told him he just killed a man. Maybe not that far, but he’d forgive Scott for a lot.

“But now we’re back in the cabin and he managed to pass out on my bed so I’m hiding in your old room.”

Mitch can’t help but smile. It’s been so long since they’ve talked properly, but they’re falling right back into their old routines.

“Are you gonna hide the whole night?”

“Probably. I just redid the sheets on one of the beds,” Scott says, rustling around a little. He sounds like he might be wrapped up in a blanket burrito and Mitch wishes he was there.

“Which one?”

“The one closer to the door. That wasn’t yours, was it?”

Mitch wants to laugh and cry at the same time. “It was.”

Scott’s next statement isn’t what Mitch is expecting. He’s expecting a laugh or a tease about going to the other bed, but no, that’s not what it is.

“It still smells like your hand lotion and I miss you so I’m just gonna stay here forever.”

“…are you still drunk, Scott?”

“No. I’m not drunk, I promise.”  Scott pauses and Mitch can practically hear him thinking. “We need to talk.”

“Right. Talk. That’s why you called me.” The little good mood Mitch had vanishes, and suddenly he’s back in that hole, back to the familiarity of darkness bounding up from the corners of his mind to come out and play yet again.

“So I owe you several explanations, don’t I.”

“You do,” Mitch grimaces, pauses. “I wish we could do this face to face.”

“I’ll be home in two days after tonight,” Scott reminds him, and Mitch wants to punch something because fucking hell, that means two more days that he’ll be without his sunshine. 

“I know. I don’t really want to hold off our talk again, but we both know we do better when we can face each other,” Mitch sighs. He really doesn’t want to wait, but it’ll be better for them in the long run.

“Yeah,” Scott says.

“Okay.”

“Good.”

“Shouldn’t you sleep?” Mitch asks. “It’s like, what, four over there?”

Scott hums as he checks the time. “Four-fifteen.”

“Go to sleep, Scott. You need the rest.”

“Okay. Night.”

“Night, sleep well.”

“Bye, Mitchy,” Scott murmurs.

“Bye, Scotty.”

Mitch waits for Scott to hang up before he puts his phone down.

He hates that they delayed the talk again, because now he has time to brood about every possible outcome of said talk. It could go well and they’d talk calmly and logically about where they stand with each other and how Shawn fits into the picture, but it’s so much more likely that both of them will end up in tears and at least one of them will probably slam a door at some point. He’s not entirely sure that it won’t be him.

He doesn’t want to argue with Scott, but somehow, especially as of late, they’ve been more and more irritable with each other and Mitch doesn’t know why. He doesn’t know if he’s been pushing Scott away of if Scott’s been pushing himself away or if they’re both pushing each other away. It’s probably the last one, and it makes him sad, because that’s the last thing he wants to do. He doesn’t want to push Scott away even though he would never blame Scott for doing the same to him.

Mitch sets his house-cleaning plan to the side so he doesn’t rip it up in his frustration, grabbing a piece of blank paper instead. He hesitates before grabbing his pen and scribbling two short sentences on it.

 _Rip._ Off comes the corner.

They’ve argued so much lately, so much more than they used to.

 _Rip._ Other corner.

And it’s about everything. Everything from Superfruit content to lyrics to what takeout to get.

_Rip._

It’s not even like either of them look to argue or to have differing opinions.

_Rip._

Mitch thinks it’s the distance, both physical and emotional. When they were better, they were always together, always touching or talking or otherwise just in the same room. Now, Scott’s out with friends most nights and Mitch takes refuge at Kris’ or Nicole’s or sometimes Kirstie’s during the day, and when they are in the same place, they talk to different groups of people, carefully dancing around each other.

_Rip. Rip. Rip._

He doesn’t know if he’s doing it accidentally, trying so hard to suppress his emotions beneath a mask of “I’m okay. I’m fine.” that Scott’s taking it as him not wanting to be around him.

_Rip._

He doesn’t know if _Scott’s_ doing it, can’t tell if Scott’s tired of him and just doesn’t want to hurt him by admitting it.

_Rip._

He thinks it’d hurt less if Scott just told him the truth- that he’s tired of him and that he’s dating Shawn and that he’s going to move out.

_Rip._

At least that way, Scott wouldn’t be pulling at his heart like this, slowly but surely ripping it to shreds and ruining him for anyone else, but if he’s being honest, Mitch knows he’s already ruined for anyone else.

_Rip._

There’s no one that understands him the way Scott does, even in this cold, painful in-between friends and acquaintances stage.

Mitch kicks the cleaning plan and the tiny scraps of paper off Scott’s bed, where he’s been sitting this whole time and dives under the covers, scrunching up the piece of paper into the smallest ball he can manage, the sharp little ridges digging into his palm, but he can’t even care.

Scott’s ruined him for anyone else. The moment Mitch lays eyes on anyone that has even the remotest possibility of romantic or even just sexual connection, he’s comparing them to Scott.

_Scott’s taller. Scott’s broader. Scott’s eyes are bluer. Scott’s scruff is neater. Scott’s little quiffy thing is better than that. Scott’s kinder. Scott fits perfectly against his back on the dancefloor and this person doesn’t. Scott understands. Scott’s hand rests on his shoulder or his lower back, never his waist like this._

He loves Scott. He’d sacrifice so much for Scott. Hell, he’d probably die for Scott.

Somehow, he and Scott just work, and it hurts when they don’t.

Mitch can’t find any more tears to cry. He wants to cry but he can’t and his head hurts almost as much as his chest.

He can’t even cry when his hand finds his phone and he plays the Scott audio track on a loop.

He doesn’t cry when he starts getting sleepy, the paper still clutched tight in his hand.

He’s exhausted.

He’s so exhausted, and he doesn’t know what to do with himself. It’s not even nine yet, but he’s so, so, so tired.

He’s spinning and falling and spinning and falling and he closes his eyes and then darkness closes over him and he lets himself sink back into his little hole of despair, because Scott’s going to be home soon, which is so, so bittersweet.

It’s sweet because he’ll see his sunshine again, he’ll get to hold Scott again, get to tuck his face into Scott’s shoulder and pretend that everything’s okay for a moment. He’ll get to just be around his walking ball of soft happiness and he almost wants to smile.

It’s bitter because it means that they’ll have to talk. They’ll have to sit down together and talk things out and probably cry together and if their previous track record is any indication, there will be at least one door slammed at some point and neither of them will eat or sleep for that day. It’ll all end within a 48-hour period though. There will be teary hugs and cuddles or painful sobs and someone storming out of the house and fighting the darkness alone for a few days. There’s no in-between.

It’s going to be okay, though, because as long as Scott’s happy, Mitch will be okay. He has to be, right?

Right.

He’ll be okay.

He doesn’t like to lie to himself about a lot, but when Scott’s involved, sometimes he can’t help it. He can’t help being stuck like this, stuck in an infinite loop of loving and hurting. The lies help,  a little. They help him pretend that he’s okay, that he’s not drowning all the time, that he’s not so in love with Scott.

Justifying the lie doesn’t make it any more true.

 

-fin.

**Author's Note:**

> was that a ride or what sorry i'm not a fan of this part but i wanted it up.
> 
> um commentary on arc- i feel like it's too rushed if i try to compress everything into seven parts like i originally planned so i'm gunning for ten parts now, with more fluff at the end instead of just one part.  
> in any case, leave a comment or kudos if you enjoyed?????????? i know it was chaotic this time round sorry again.


End file.
